Convergent
by Pikachunicorn
Summary: Lilith was never meant for Candor. The faction of truth has no place for a girl like her. So when she transfers to Erudite - the intelligence faction - at the choosing ceremony, the lack of surprise is evident. But when a mysterious cat leads her out into the city, will she discover that she made the wrong choice? And who is the strange boy in black?
1. Chapter 1

Erudite or Dauntless? Intelligence or Bravery? Where do I fit? The aptitude test is a test taken by all sixteen year olds over all five factions, each with its own trait: fearless people fit to Dauntless, intelligent to Erudite, kind to Amity, selfless to Abnegation, and honest to Candor. Annually, each teen in their final school year takes a test that will tell them their destiny, and then they must choose their own future next day. It can very occasionally produce two results, but I didn't expect that 'very occasionally' to be me!  
"Lily!" My mother's voice calls from the kitchen, snapping me from my thoughts. "Dinner!" I stumble into the kitchen - I've never had the grace of my mother or two sisters - to see the overly full plates on the table. Just the four. My father's working again. I haven't spoken to him in months. I know my sisters don't want to know what he does - scared that the answer would harm them more than the ignorance. But my curiosity - the trait that must have roped me into one of my aptitude test results being part Erudite - leads me to ask why my mother never brings it up. Being from Candor (honesty faction), everything we say should be the truth. I guess my mother can't tell us lies, so she can't tell us anything. I sit down quietly and pick up my fork, staring at my reflection as it turns in my fingers. I don't want to eat tonight.  
"You okay, Lily?" my mother enquires, craning her neck to pull my attention from my daydream.  
"Fine, just thinking." A lie.  
"You sure? How was the test?" She asks, resting her fork on her plate and turning her full attention to me.  
"Yeah, fine. Everything was fine." More lies. It's too obvious why I couldn't be Candor. "And my name's Lilith, mum. I hate the name Lily!"  
"You know I don't like that name! That was your father's choice!" There. The blunt Candor honesty. My little sister Jamie, ignorant in her young age of just 8, speaks up, breaking our awkward silence.  
"I hope Lil chooses Candor like Cathy! Then we can all be together! I'm gunna choose Candor!" I sigh inwardly. Cathy. My perfect older sister. She, like Jamie, inherited my father's pale hair and my mother's deep, brown eyes. While I'm stuck with my mother's red hair and my father's dull, grey orbs. Of course, Cathy's faction test showed clear Candor. She helps my mum around the house, earns her own money and recently got engaged to the perfect Candor man. As much as her perfection irritates me sometimes, she's the only family member I can talk to. Jamie being too young and my mother being too narrow minded. She's also the only one who can tell when I'm lying. Which makes this situation very sticky.  
After dinner, I head to my room. It is an unspoken rule that we be given thinking time after our aptitude test. The knock on my door suggests that someone didn't get that memo. I sigh and summon the person in. Cathy. She closes the door and sits on my bed.  
"You're not gunna choose Candor tomorrow." She states, a little too bluntly.  
"What? I mean... No... I mean... What?" I trip over my own words.  
"I know you're not feeling okay about it, which says it's a tough decision." I try to object but am immediately cut off "And the fact you lied so easily to mum about feeling 'fine' shows me you're not cut out for Candor anyway." _Ouch. Harsh... But true. Of course._  
"Cath, you know I can't..."  
"I know. No speaking about the simulation test!" A comforting, knowing smile spreads across her face "But I know you're clever enough and brave enough to make your own decision." _Clever? Brave? How does she know? Am I that obvious_? She winks at me and leaves me in my room with a full head and a sleepless night.


	2. Chapter 2

Today is the choosing ceremony. We're whisked into The Hub - the huge centrepiece building of the city. We are then led into a circular room, filled with other teenagers and family members sitting on the plain wooden chairs. I can see the usual mix that comes with growing up, the quiet, shy, nervous ones, the obnoxious, loud show-offs, and the ones that are somewhere in the middle. My eyes move to the centre stage where the 5 faction bowls are placed. As we take our seats in the Candor section of the hall, nerves take over and my gaze connects with an imaginary spot on the far wall.  
Suddenly, silence. Somebody's talking, although I can't work out who, my mind still unable to snap out of its daze. The ceremony drones on, my mind only slipping into clear sight when the shocked reactions of a transfer rise from the crowd. There's a girl - Beatrice (I remember her name from school) - who sparks up a large reaction with her Abnegation-Dauntless transfer. The great thing about being Candor is that transfers aren't such a big deal. I guess they're just happy you're being true to yourself... And not cluttering their faction with liars.  
"Lilith Lacon" That's me. _Crap! That's me!_ I gingerly edge my way to the five bowls framed by the new initiates. One for each faction. Each bowl filled with a representation of its fandom. There may be five, but my eyes see no more than three: the lit coals of Dauntless, the water of Erudite and the glass of Candor. The knife slices across my palm. I must now drip my blood into the faction bowl of my choice. My eyes skim the bowls again. The hot coals show no sign of blood, hidden and burnt off by fire. The water has a slight pink tinge from the previous initiates. The sight of the Candor bowl is what disgusts me. So much teens' blood dripping and sliding over the sharp broken glass, in plain sight. Typical Candor. Never hide the truth, no matter how painful it may be. I feel my feet move against my will. But who am I kidding? This is what I want I twist my hand and watch - in slow motion - as my blood falls to stain the water. _Erudite_. Intelligence is what I've chosen.  
There is applause and some inappropriate cat calls from the male Erudite initiates as I make my way to the bench to join my new faction.  
The rest of the ceremony passes extremely quickly, my mind buzzing with what's to come, and soon we're up on our feet and moving. I pass my family and Cathy's perfect smile is beaming with pride, as my mother's would seem to be if I could not see the sadness behind it. Transferring from Candor isn't a big deal, but that doesn't make it any less painful for the parents. The original, non-transfer Erudite initiates surround one of the boys when we are lead into the open courtyard. I recognize him and, from his grey clothes, can easily determine that he is - _was_ - Abnegation. The blue clothed Erudite teens surround him and start pulling on his shirt and shouting hurtful things to him. _This isn't fair! We're all the same faction now!_ I step directly in front of the Abnegation boy and shove off a hand that comes towards us.  
"You guys should back off. He must've got Erudite on his faction test or he wouldn't be here. That's makes him just as intelligent as you. Maybe even more." I say, lifting my chin to seem more important.  
"Black and white clothing..." One of the boys states. "You're Candor."  
"Was." I hiss back. He begins to circle me, looking me up and down.  
"What happened? Tell too many fibs?" He whispers in my ear mockingly.  
"Something like that." I spit. "Pretty brave stepping in front of a bunch of guys to stand up for some Stiff you don't even know." He begins to circle me again. "Sure you weren't destined for the hot coals?"  
"Pretty sure," I bite back "Plus, your repetitive walking patterns around me remind me of the pacing of a distressed animal. Am I making you nervous, genius?" The crowd of Erudite initiates, transfer and non-transfer, call and cheer at this, which makes the boy in blue stop and look into my face. I smirk and raise an eyebrow.  
"No, little liar girl. You're not. I'm just thinking it's a shame you'll never get through initiation, because we need some female eye candy in our faction." His raises a hand to my cheek. I swat it away.  
"From what I can see, you need some male eye candy in your faction too." I smile sarcastically before walking away to where our Erudite guide who lead us from the hall has appeared. The Abnegation boy is the first to join me.  
"Thank you. But you shouldn't have done that. You could've been hurt." He says quietly. He's taller than me, so I have to look up to reply.  
"Anytime. And I did. Because those idiots need to learn they can't treat people like that." I see him search for a comeback, but soon give up.  
"Caleb Prior," he says instead extending a hand. I take it.  
"Lilith Lacon," we shake and let our hands drop "You're Beatrice's brother, right? She was in a couple of my classes. She's pretty cool."  
"Yeah," is the only response I get before he turns his head away. _Jeez, sensitive subject_.  
"Right, initiates!" A loud voice speaks out. "We'll be traveling to the Erudite training compound by car, where you will begin your initiation. We will judge you on every conversation we have we you, on top of the assignments that will be set. If you think this is easy, you're wrong." We all pile into the cars and head to our new home.


	3. Chapter 3

Our rooms are pretty basic. Clothing stores. Beds. Not much else. We get our proper apartments when we pass initiation. Each room holds four initiates. There are around twenty of us, so we fill about five rooms. Each room must have at least one transfer and one non-transfer. In my room is me, Caleb, the genius boy in blue from earlier, and his sidekick. Typical.  
Once we've sorted the beds (I chose the top bunk on the left, above Caleb), we're whisked into one science lecture after the other. By the end of the day my head is aching. I slump down into bed and sigh. I hadn't had time to think about my family before, but now I do, it's so mentally draining it takes the genius boy in blue three attempts to pull my attention from the thoughts.  
"What?!" I snap, leaning over the edge of the bunk to see him.  
"Calm it, little liar!" _Ugh. A nickname already?_ "I just noticed we haven't been introduced, I'm Jake and this," he gestures behind him with his thumb "is Craig." I guess that's useful. I can't really call him _'the boy in blue_' anymore because we've all been issued a blue item of clothing and glasses to be in-keeping with the rest of the faction. These are compulsory.  
"Lilith." I say bluntly.  
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you LIElith. I'm SO glad we'll be sharing a room." _Another nickname relating to my previous faction?_ "Sweet dreams!" Jake says mockingly, before kissing me on the cheek. _Ew._  
The boys settle into their bunks around and fall asleep (not before Craig decides it would be funny to throw a shoe at Caleb's head). But I lay awake for hours. I stare at the ceiling and curse myself for letting my head get so busy.  
Suddenly, a noise. Faint, but loud enough for me to hear. I make my way to the window, where the sound seems to be emanating from. Then I see it, a cat. Well, a cat's eye. They're what grabs me first, the green glow staring at me through the window, then, as my eyes adjust to the light, I see that she is decorated with the intricate natural patterns of tortoise shell fur. Her face is divided almost equally between black and brown, each claiming half of her features and mottling together between her eyes. As she sits, I notice the dazzling white fur on her chest, but my gaze stays locked to her eyes. Captivated. Entranced. I don't really see cats in Candor, but I've always thought they were beautiful. So graceful, and sleek. Oozing with femininity. Yet so powerful, strong and independent. Both intelligent _and_ brave. I wish I could be that way. I feel the compulsion to open the window, causing the cat to mew gently. I notice now that she must be a stray. It is required by law to collar all pets in the city. The kitty has no collar. I extend my hand towards her, and freeze as she nuzzles my fingers. Our eyes connect again, before she jumps out of the window and to the soft dirt below. I lean out over the window sill and see her sat there, eyes transfixed on me, beckoning me out of my cage. I obey. I mentally thank god for my slight frame as I slip easily out of the window and silently drop to the floor. Luckily, the initiate rooms are all in a single floored building, meaning that the escape is no trouble. The cat mews softly when I bend down to stroke her.  
"Where are we going then, kitty?" I whisper, smiling when she cocks her head in response. I stand, and she trots off into the city.


	4. Chapter 4

I follow my cat guide as she leads me through the maze of alleyways and streets until she stops, almost causing me to trip over her in the dull light.  
We've arrived at a small shack-like building neighbouring the train tracks. Light seeps through cracks in the shutters that block off the windows, and music and laughing emanates from inside. Intrigued, I push open the door. The cat hurries in before I can move.  
The room is small, and occupied by about eight boys, dressed all in black, drinking and laughing. I'm surprised they don't see me, as my blue, Erudite-issued shirt sticks out like a sore thumb. But I stay invisible in the darkness. I then notice the cat dart to a line boy in the corner.  
He is dressed in black skinny jeans and a tight fitting black tshirt. Simple. Yet extremely effective. The fit of the shirt hugs his figure and emphasizes his gorgeous, golden arms. His lips are a light shade of pink, perfectly sculpted into shape. His hair frames his face perfectly. It's mostly straight, other than a large flick at the bottom of the fringe where it brushes his eyebrows. Suddenly, he looks up, and his eyes lock with mine, deep, multi-tonal blue. _Wow. _His gaze drops to my shirt._Crap! I've been spotted! _I want to turn to run but his gaze has returned to my eyes and keeps my feet rooted to the ground.  
"Well, Tilly," he says in a deep mysterious tone, as the cat walks in figures of eight around his moving feet. I wonder temporarily how she doesn't trip him up. "You brought a guest!"  
"I- Urrr... Your cat- Umm... I-" I stutter, not being able to construct a sentence, before settling on "S-Sorry?" He laughs. His smile is beautiful. I sigh inwardly. _No, Lilith! Snap out of it!_  
"Why sorry? Come in!" He says warmly, taking my hand and pulling me into the house. "I'm Nixon."  
"Lilith," I say quietly, regaining the ability to speak.  
"Pretty name. What brings you here, Lilith?" He asks, emphasizing my name like he's trying it on for size.  
"Your cat. She turned up on my window and I followed her here because... Umm. I don't really know." I hurriedly explain.  
"Her name's Tilly. She's a stray. I feed her here each night." He releases my hand and bends down to pet Tilly, who purrs in appreciation. When he stands two other boys have joined us.  
"Nix, she's Erudite! Are you crazy?!" One of the boys whispers loudly.  
"I know." Nixon replies, his eyes connect to mine for a second before he shoots a look to the boy. "And this is my house. So, I make the rules."  
"Okay. Sorry, man!" He says as he and the other boy scurry off quietly.  
"So, Lilith, now you're here, might as well have fun, right?" Nixon steps closer to me, so I gave to look up to see his face. I swallow, hard.  
"Ummm..."  
"Exactly!" He cuts in, grabbing my hand. "Let's dance!"  
The music is quiet and soon gets lost as Nixon pulls me to his chest. _Might as well have fun._ The words echo in my head. He's right. I slide my hands up my body and raise them above my head, moving my hips. I close my eyes and relax. I haven't felt this carefree for months. _Years._  
"Lilith," a male voice breaks into my trance. I open my eyes. _Nixon._ He's smiling.  
"Uh huh?" I say, still dancing.  
"I'm gunna go get us a drink, be right back," I nod and he leaves.  
I continue to dance, until I feel a pair of hands on my waist. I turn, smiling, then stop when I see that the guy with his hands on me is not who I expected. Instead, a taller boy with blond hair and a leather jacket. He lowers his lips to my cheek and whispers to me.  
"Hey, gorgeous. I like your dancing." My eyes search the room for Nixon, in panic, although, I'm not sure why. "You're a bad girl leaving the Erudite compound and coming here. Maybe you could show me just how bad?" I push him back. His face retreats from mine, but his hands remain on my waist.  
"Leave me alone." I spit. He reminds me of Jake.  
"Baby, why? We can have so much fun!" His voice is oozing with arrogance that makes me feel sick. His hands move up my body slowly.  
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU PERVERT!" I shout, and slap him across the face. He bares his teeth and lurches forward. I close my eyes and prepare for the impact of his body against mine. When no impact comes, I open them. I see the creep pinned to the floor by a body. _Nixon._


	5. Chapter 5

"OUT!" Nixon yells, standing abruptly, leaving the blonde boy dazed on the floor. "EVERYBODY OUT, NOW!"  
The music cuts out and a chorus of moans and complaints fill the quickly emptying room. The boy on the floor clumsily gets to his feet and sprints out into the darkness.  
"What the hell, Lilith?! You don't slap a Dauntless boy almost a foot taller than you! You're insane!" He shouts when the room is empty. _Dauntless? I guess I should've known from the black clothing._  
"I- He-" a take a deep breath and recover the ability to speak. "He was trying it on with me. He wouldn't take no for an answer. What else was I supposed to do to a perv like that?!"  
Nixon sighs. "You could've been hurt." He says, calmer now.  
"What do you care? You don't even know me!" I shoot him an accusing look.  
"Tell me about you." The words seem completely out of place.  
"Ummm. What?" My forehead screws up into a puzzled expression.  
"Let me get to know you." He takes my hand and leads me to a wooden crate where we then sit. Tilly hops up beside me. "Shoot!"  
"Ummm. There's not much to know." I mutter and stroke Tilly's head, to avoid eye contact with Nixon.  
"No, come on. I can tell you're a new initiate. You don't look completely Erudite yet. So, did you transfer?" He questions.  
"Umm. Yeah. I was Candor. But I found it too easy to lie. So, I transferred today at the Choosing Ceremony." My voice is low. I sneak a look at the boy sitting next to me, but turn away quickly when I feel my heart skip slightly. _He's gorgeous_. "What about you?"  
"I've been full Dauntless for a year. Though I was born Dauntless." He explains. "I only just got in though; bottom of the leader board in initiation." I don't know what Dauntless initiation involves, but I've been told it's the worst of all factions.  
"Why? What happened?" I asked, intrigued by his confession.  
"I was weak in the first, physical round, easily beatable, but struggled through to the second, purely because of the fact, most of the transfers dropped out, favouring the idea of being factionless to having to face their fears. I did okay in the second two tests. I beat my fears quickly each time. But I had a lot of fears, the most in my class." I turn to look at him now. He watches the floor. I stare at him for a moment, only distracted when Tilly crawls into my lap and purrs gently. Nixon turns his head and smiles.  
"You're the first!" He laughs, turning to look at me.  
"What?"  
"Tilly hates people. She basically tries to maul anyone who comes near her!" He strokes her gently and she nuzzles his wrist.  
"She's gorgeous." I confess. He nods.  
"So, how was your first day as Erudite?" He asks, returning his attention to me.  
"I dunno. I don't seem to fit in with the non-transfers. They all seem so arrogant and self-assured." I admit. He laughs.  
"Isn't that just Erudite?" I punch him on the arm, causing Tilly to jump from my lap and settle at my feet.  
"Hey! I'm Erudite now!" I say, returning his laugh. I can't remember the last time I laughed. "So, _Nixon_," I start, emphasizing his name in a mocking tone. "You seem pretty strong now, how do you hide all those fears?"  
"I don't." He replies, his serious demeanour returning. "I face them."  
"Oh," is all I can find to reply. Would this have been me in a year's time, if I had chosen Dauntless? Set only on facing my fears?  
"I only have five in my simulation now: spiders, deep water, humiliation, loss and..." He stops. I wonder what his fifth fear is but I don't pry. I settle instead for satisfying a different curiosity.  
"Simulation? What do you mean?" I quiz.  
"We are injected with a serum, and then sent into a room, where we are shown each of our fears in turn. The only way to pass a fear is to calm down until your heart beat stabilizes, or face it." He explains, looking to the ground. "It's the final test in Dauntless initiation."  
"Wow, that..." I pause, searching for the word. "Sucks!" We both laugh. His eyes lock with mine.  
"You know, you should come over more often. I'm here every night." He suggests.  
"I- Err. I mean. I'm not supposed to leave my-"  
"You did tonight, didn't you?" He cuts me off, making me smile.  
"Yeah," I sigh "I guess I did."  
The air suddenly starts to feel thicker and my vision seems to tunnel, focusing purely on Nixon's lips. I sense a strange magnetism between us and am drawn forward. Our foreheads touch and I close my eyes, the flick at the end of his fringe tickles my eyelids. All is silent but our breath. Only now do I notice how deep my breathing has become. How deep _our_breathing has become. I feel his lips graze mine and shiver slightly. _I want to kiss him!_ I push my mouth against his and relax muscles I did not know were tensed when he kisses me back. I run my hands up his side and feel his figure beneath the material of his shirt. He deepens the kiss, now with his hands on my waist. I shouldn't want this, shouldn't enjoy this. But it feels right. _I don't want to stop kissing him!_ I run my fingers through his hair and feel his arms pull me closer.  
"Nixon," my voice is muffled under our kiss. He groans in response. Then, freezes. I pull away from him slightly. _What did I do? Did I hurt him? Did I not do it right?_ I've never kissed anyone like that before. He stands and steps back quickly.  
"I can't. I need to- I've got to go. I need- I'm sorry, Lilith." He stutters before quickly leaving the room. I sit there in the silence for a moment. Alone. I touch my swollen lips. I don't understand. What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? Does he have a girlfriend? _Oh god._ Was that a mistake? I run all the way back to the Erudite building complex. I climb back through the window - which is far more difficult than climbing out - and fall into bed. Soon, I drift to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

"Wake up, Initiates! First test today!" A loud, male voice calls. _What? A test? Already?_ I jump from my bed and land heavily, waking Caleb. Damn my lack of grace. I quickly slip on a pair of black skinny jeans, a blue fitted tank top and my new glasses. It feels strange wearing glasses I don't need.  
By the time I have my shoes on; Caleb is stood beside me fully dressed. We leave Jake and Craig battling with their clothes in the room and walk to the main hall. There are numerous small desks placed at about one meter intervals across the huge room. We are told to take a seat and obey quickly. Over half of the initiates are already seated, so it doesn't take long until we are called to silence by our guide from yesterday. He looks about five years older than us with short, light brown hair and chestnut eyes.  
"My name is Kai. I am your mentor for the next two weeks. It is my job to make sure as many of you make it into our faction as possible." He begins to pace in front of the desks. "Today, you will be taking four tests. Firstly, a simple IQ, this is the white sheet of paper on your desk. Next, a Math test, the blue paper. Then, an English test, the pink. And finally, a Science test, the green." He holds up each paper in turn to reinforce his statements. "You will have fifteen minutes to complete each test and the papers will be collected individually at the end of each fifteen minutes. The marks will be given to you later today. Don't screw this up."  
We are told to begin. The IQ test is relatively simple, although it requires fast thinking to finish within the time limit. I come across a question about a cat and thoughts of Nixon arise, which I quickly push from my mind. The buzzer sounds indicating the end of the first test as I tick the final box and our papers are collected.  
Now, Math. I like Math. It's easy, understandable. _Unlike boys_, my head chips in_. Jeez, what am I, twelve?_ Soon, I'm finished, and wait patiently for the buzzer to sound.  
I finish both of the other tests just in time then leave the hall to head back to my room. We are told to return in an hour for the results.  
"How did you do, _Lie_lith?" Jake calls mockingly.  
"I don't think that concerns you." I hiss.  
We enter our room, and me and Caleb sit on his bed.  
"You okay?" I ask, nudging him with my elbow.  
"Yeah," he sighs "I'm just worried I won't do well enough."  
"Don't be stupid!" I say, smiling. "Of course you will. There must be a reason the aptitude test placed you here."  
"I guess. It's just-" he stops "Thanks, Lilith. This is the kind of thing I'd usually talk to my sister about, you know?" _I know_, I think,_ I was the same with my sister._  
"Yeah, I understand." I say gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
We talk for the rest of the hour, just silly things about who we are, where we come from. It feels nice to have a friend.  
"Results!" Kai's voice echoes outside our room as he marches past. We stand and follow him back to the main hall. I can hear Caleb struggle to control his breathing. _Why am I not worried about this? _I should be. If I haven't done well enough I'll be factionless. But I'm not. I'm completely emotionless.  
When we enter the main hall I feel a sense of dejavu. On each table lie four piece of paper; white, blue, pink and green, but instead of A4 sheets, they are small slips.  
"Initiates," Kai yells "Return to the tables you occupied during the exam. Your results are on the slips placed on them. The slips are colour coded the same as the tests were."  
Of course, we must remember our tables and the colour coding or we'll fail immediately. Memory is a key element in intelligence.  
I walk over to my table and temporarily stare down at the slip. My future. There. On a scrap of colored paper. I lift the first sheet. White.  
**IQ: 120.** Okay, not great, but not terrible.  
I take up the next slip. Blue.  
**Math: 100% correct. **I stare at the numbers. _Wow. That can't be right_. I stare again, expecting the figures to change. They don't.  
I shake my head and pick up the pink slip.  
**English: 74% correct**. Meh. Not too good.  
I take the final, green sheet.  
**Science: 79% correct**. _Damn._ I bet most of the other initiates have done better than that. I frown to myself before exiting the hall and heading back to my room.  
I lie on my bed for a while in silence, gently weaving the coloured slips between my fingers. I'm just starting to relax when Jake and Craig storm in.  
"What did you get, _Lie_lith?" Craig calls laughing, while Jake steals the slips from my hand. He reads each in turn. _White first._  
"Average," he mumbles, flicking the slip back onto the bed.  
_Green._  
"Average," he repeats both the word and the action.  
_Pink._  
"Average," another repetition.  
_Blue._  
He stops, and stares for a moment.  
"Well, well, well! Somebody's been hiding things now, haven't they?" Jake sneers, stepping closer to my bunk. I drop to the floor in front of him.  
"Give that back, now!" I growl.  
"But, princess, you should be proud!" His arrogant tone makes me want to vomit. "Maybe we'll get some eye candy in Erudite after all..."  
He holds the slip out between us. I reach my hand out quickly to grab it, but he retracts his arm.  
"By the way," he whispers "glasses really suit you." I roll my eyes and grab the green sheet, quickly shoving it under my pillow with the rest. We were told we didn't have to share our results if we didn't want to, but it seems I didn't have a choice.  
Later, in bed I wait for Tilly to appear at my window again. She doesn't. After a while of watching and waiting, I give up and try to sleep. It's useless. There's no way I'm going to sleep tonight. If Tilly won't find me_, I'll have to find Tilly. _


	7. Chapter 7

I slip through the buildings in the city until I find it. Nixon's shack. The lights glow inside, but there is no noise like there was yesterday.  
I push the door, which slowly swings open, and step inside. I see him. Hunched over, sat on the crate opposite the door.  
"Nixon?" I say, as gentle as possible. His blue eyes flick up to meet mine.  
"Why did you come back?" He asks, his voice monotone, almost emotionless.  
"Because you told me to." I confess, barely loud enough for him to hear, as I walk over and sit beside him. "Are you okay?"  
"No, I was an ass to you yesterday. I'm sorry." He turns to face me.  
"What did I do wrong? Why did you run?" I ask quietly.  
"Oh gosh, Lilith, no! You didn't do anything wrong! You were amazing." He takes my hand "It's not you-"  
"'It's not you, it's me'? Little clichéd, don't you think?" I joke. He laughs.  
"Yeah, but its right." His thumb glides over my knuckles. "I can't believe I want to tell you this. I've never told anyone, purely because of how stupid I sound. But you, the girl I met yesterday, I want to tell you."  
"Tell me what?" I whisper, our eyes connecting again.  
"My fifth fear." He moves closer to me. "This..." He kisses me gently, yet I can still feel the hunger behind it. I push my fingers into his hair and kiss him more. He pulls away, and my body sags with disappointment.  
"This is what I'm scared of." He whispers.  
"Kissing?" I raise an eyebrow. _Who's scared of kissing?_  
"What? No!" He laughs, and visibly relaxes slightly. "I thought you were supposed to be clever, Erudite."  
"Enlighten me, Dauntless." I whisper, mockingly.  
"I'm scared of intimacy, commitment, love. I'm scared of being with someone. Trusting them with my emotions." He sighs and drops his head. "When you kissed me, it wasn't like any kiss I'd shared before. It felt like it meant something, like you... You were what I needed. And that terrified me. So, I ran."  
I stare at him in disbelief. That is a _big_ confession.  
"Oh crap! I've freaked you out, haven't I? Oh, man! Lilith I'm sorry! I didn't want to-" I cut him off with a kiss.  
"I felt it too." I whisper. Our foreheads touch and we spend some time just sat there, silent.  
"I need your help," I say, a smile crawling up my face.  
"Sure. What?"  
"Show me what it's like to be Dauntless?"


	8. Chapter 8

"I knew you were more than just brains!" Nixon whispers, smiling. He grabs my hand. "Come on, Erudite!"  
I laugh and let him drag me out the door.  
"So, Dauntless. What do you have in mind?" I watch him as he stops in front of me and looks around. His bites his bottom lip gently as he think. _He's so gorgeous!_ "Oh! Wait! I have an idea!"  
"Really? What is-" I cut him off with a kiss. I have to tip toe on the uneven ground to reach his lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him more. He tenses slightly, but shows no sign of running. I pull away.  
"You're amazing, Nixon." I whisper.  
"Hypocrite!" He replies, making us both smile.  
Suddenly, he turns and walks, causing me to lose my balance and stumble.  
"So, Erudite," he calls back "what are you scared of?"  
"Ummm. I dunno. I've never really liked heights, I guess." I mumble.  
"Perfect!"  
"Wait, what?" _What is going on is his head?_  
Then, he grabs my hand and we're running again, faster now. Soon, we reach a tall bridge. I bend over my knees, completely out of breath; we only stopped once for Nixon to make a phone call to some called Rye. I pant heavily; I was definitely not cut out to be Dauntless.  
"Great! Rye set them up and everything!" Nixon says, the excitement evident in his voice.  
"Set what up?" I ask. _What's he got planned?_  
"The ropes. We're going bungee jumping!" He exclaims happily.  
"Are you insane?!" Nixon laughs in response.  
"This is how I got over my fear of heights, come on! It'll be fun! I'll be holding onto you the whole time. And the harnesses and ropes are the best quality." His smile is huge.  
Once I'm strapped into my harness, I'm shaking uncontrollably. We step to the edge and Nixon straps us together.  
"Nixon," I say, my voice wavering. "I'm scared."  
He kisses me gently.  
"I'll be holding you the whole time. Just keep your mind on that." He whispers, before kissing my forehead. "On three! One..."  
I screw my eyes shut and try to control my breathing.  
"Two..."  
My feet feel rooted to the bridge. Maybe Nixon won't be able to pull me off. Maybe I'm stuck here.  
"Three!"  
He jumps, taking me with him. We immediately begin our descent. I scream overly loudly and feel his chest vibrate with laughter against mine. I wrench one of my eyes open. I see us descending rapidly toward the river below, but I don't feel scared. Instead, I laugh. Nixon's arms tighten around me, as the rope reaches full tension, and then leaves us the bounce up and down.  
"Rye might take a few minutes to pull us up." Nixon confesses.  
"You couldn't tell me that before?!" I yell. He laughs.  
"We'll just have to entertain ourselves." He says.  
"Fine!" I kiss him, hard, on the lips. "How's your fifth fear now?"  
"A bit better," he teases "but I think I may need to try that again."  
He kisses me. The butterflies in my stomach do front flips as I feel the pressure of his lips on mine. I moan softly into his mouth.  
"You're a spectacular girl, Lilith." He whispers.  
"Thank you. For this, I mean. It's been amazing." I confess. Two days ago, I wouldn't have even dreamt of kissing a Dauntless boy whilst hanging upside down from a bridge. We feel slight tension on the rope. Rye must be here.  
"Thank_ you_," Nixon whispers "Dauntless girl..."


	9. Chapter 9

The next day my head is swimming - almost uncontainable - with thoughts of the night before. Nixon's fifth fear. The kisses. The jump. It was... _Spectacular_. I've never felt more alive. I sigh gently and smile to myself.  
"What's got you so happy, _Lie_lith?" Jake scoffs, snapping me back to reality. "Thinking about sweet little Candor?" _Reality sucks._  
"Shut up, Jake." I hiss, as I drop from my bunk where I was perched. He moves closer.  
"You know, you should really watch your back, Candor. You don't know what I'm capable of." He growls.  
"You're right, I don't. But if I take into consideration your height, build and intelligence - which, let's face it, you haven't shown me much of - I don't think I've got much to worry about." I pat his head gently to reinforce my patronizing statement and start towards to door, before calling back "Oh! And don't call me Candor!"  
When I enter the test hall, I notice that - other than Jake and Craig - I am the last initiate to arrive.  
"Not making a very good impression, Lilith!" Kai calls over the crowd. After Jake and Craig enter and are met with a similar comment, we are called to silence. Once the room is hushed, Kai begins to speak.  
"Being a part of this fandom means contributing your knowledge for the greater good, for all factions." He bellows. "That is what you will practice today. Come."  
We all comply and follow him down the hall to an expensive looking science laboratory. It is large, about twenty square feet, with three white walls (matching the ceiling, floor, table and equipment) and a full length window occupying the fourth. Rows of three foot high floor cupboards frame the white walls, different paraphernalia covering the work surfaces on top of them. There are also similar work surface topped cupboards in the centre of the room.  
"Okay. Today, you will be working with a revolutionary serum. This serum has been three years in the making, and today, you will do the final test." Kai explains, with a little too much pride. "This serum has been created to assist care for the mentally ill. This small, painless injection," he holds up a long syringe he filled with orange liquid "can temporarily numb the patient's mind, allowing the operator of this computer," he indicates to a screen behind him with his thumb "to alter their actions."  
"So, it's mind control?" Craig calls from the back of the crowd.  
"Yes, Mr Jacobs, that is what the unintelligent may call it." Kai shoots. "Try to ask more intelligent questions in the future." Craig mumbles something unintelligible in response.  
"As I was saying!" Kai bellows over the crowd "This serum has only currently been tested on animals and mechanical human test simulators. So, as you all should know, the final test is on humans. That is what you will be doing as part of your initiation today."  
"Testing?" I quiz "On who?"  
"Each other. Here in Erudite, we need you to be willing to give your life for the evolution of the city." He pauses for our response, but is only met with twenty-ish blank expressions. "A sacrifice for science is no sacrifice at all."  
Soon, all of the equipment is set out on the work tops and we are dressed in long white lab coats with blue cuffs and buttons, and blue gloves.  
"Now, the four initiates with the highest scores in each test will be tested on." Kai announces.  
"Firstly, IQ, Jenna Cimmon." A tall girl with long brown hair, tied up in a high ponytail, and thick lensed glasses steps forward. She wears little make up and has quite plain, but well fitted, clothing. She is an Erudite-born initiate.  
"Next, Science." Kai pauses for dramatic effect. "Caiden Smith." This boy is well built and well proportioned. His skin is a light golden colour, and his hair is pitch black. I assume, from the tattoos poking out from under his collar, that he was Dauntless.  
"English. Kenzie Jeckland" Kenzie is a short girl with blonde hair and a perfectly womanly figure. Her lips are well rouged and her eyelashes coated in mascara. She wears, like me, thick rimmed glasses (which, of course, neither of us actually need).  
"And finally, Math." The voice pulls me from my thoughts. _Please not me. Please not me. Please-_ "Lilith Lacon." _Crap_. We step forward and remove our lab coats, as instructed. We are then sat on a row of uncomfortable wooden seats.  
"You will be left unsupervised in this room, but we will be watching your activity through the security cameras and the video cams I will connect to each test subject." After the tiny cameras have been pinned to our clothing, we are left alone. Jake takes an orange-filled syringe and approaches me.  
"Hey, _Lie_lith." He oozes.  
"Back off, Jake!" I spit. "It's just an experiment, princess. Give me your arm and this will all be over soon..." His smile makes me feel uneasy, but I extend my arm anyway, because I know if I don't, I'm out of Erudite for good. I feel the needle push into my skin and watch the orange liquid disappear from the syringe. My vision fades and, as I slip from consciousness, I am left with one thought. _A sacrifice for science is no sacrifice at all._


	10. Chapter 10

When I wake up, I am in an unfamiliar, white room. Almost every inch of my body aches, and my left ribs throb with unrelenting pain. I know they said that a slight head ache after the experiment would be normal, but they didn't tell me about this. What happened?  
"Lilith!" I'm in a hospital. Caleb is sat in a chair next to the bed, his clothes are out of position and torn in places, and his bottom lip and left eye look swollen. "You're awake."  
"Caleb?" My voice is croaky and weak "What happened? Are you okay?" I push myself up into a sitting position and wince as agony shoots through my chest. Caleb stands quickly.  
"Woah! Careful! You need to rest. Your ribs are pretty badly bruised. They won't be entirely heeled for at least a month!" He warns, carefully manoeuvring me into a less painful position.  
"How do you know that?" I question.  
"I used to read a lot of medical books." He shrugs. "I brought you straight here after..." He stops. "After, what?" What happened?  
"Lilith, well, umm..."  
"Caleb!" I warn.  
"After the initial experiment had been successfully concluded, Kai came and told us that each of participants' room mates were to stay and ensure that there were no complications before the serum wore off. He told us they wouldn't be watching us anymore so we'd have to call for help if anything happened."  
"Jake. He did something, didn't he?" My eyes narrow as I stare straight ahead. _Jake_.  
"I tried to stop him, but Craig. He-" he drops his head, looking almost ashamed. So that solves his swollen face.  
"I understand. Don't feel bad." I rest my hand on his shoulder and smile weakly when he looks at me.  
"Anyway," he continues, taking a deep breath. "They then tied me to a chair. They then started talking about how fighting you would like fighting in a game. And so Craig started making you fight Jake. It was a pretty equal fight to be honest." Caleb says it as though I'm supposed to be proud of that. "When he'd got bored of fighting, he kissed you." I lift my hand painfully to touch my lips and stare of into the distance. He _kissed_ me? "By that time I'd managed to release my hands, so I got to you and punched him in the face before lifting you and bringing you here. That was about three hours ago, I haven't seen anyone since."  
"What about the other initiates? Why didn't they help us?" _Is intelligence really fighting only for yourself and no one else? _  
"They did nothing, just kept watching their own participant." Caleb shakes his head. "Cowards."  
"Thank you, Caleb. I owe you one." I give him a large smile.  
"The worrying thing is it was far too easy for Craig to program you to fight. Like combat could be the first use of this serum." Caleb whispers. I smile at him again.  
"Wow, you definitely have the curiosity to be Erudite, Prior." I say, causing him to smile in return. "I'm sure Craig's just better with computers than we thought."  
"Yeah, probably." He agrees, unenthusiastically.  
"Now, go back to our room and rest. You've done enough good deeds for one day, Abnegation!" I say and wink at him.  
"But I have to stay to look after you. This is all my fault! I could have-"  
"Left me there alone? Not tried to help me at all?" I cut him off. "Exactly. You've done more than I would've expected from anyone. You're a really great friend, Caleb. Thank you." He smiles and nods, before leaving the room. After a while, a nurse appears and suggests I take some painkillers. I take the pills and glass of water from her gratefully. Soon after sunset, the pain is reduced to a dull ache. _These drugs are great!_ But there is something eating away at my brain. _Nixon_. I need to see him. He'll worry. I told him I'd see him tonight. The hospital room is empty, other than a couple of sleeping patients. I find the security camera and try to work out its line of vision. Soon, I am pretty confident the left half of my bed is out of view, so I slip out from under the sheets, and stay out of sight of the camera, as I climb up and out of the only window not under surveillance. _Yes!_


	11. Chapter 11

I am more edgy than usual when winding through the streets and alleyways tonight. Maybe it's the painkillers. I rush through the passageways, constantly checking over my shoulder. When I finally enter Nixon's shack, I shut the door quickly and release the breath I didn't even know I was holding.  
"Woah! Calm it, Erudite!" Nixon whispers, placing his hand on my shoulder, as he stands behind me. I stare at the door for a second and try to control my heavy breathing. He kisses my neck gently.  
"What's wrong? What happened?" His tone is laced with concern. He turns me around to face him. "Why are you wearing a hospital gown?"  
On my legs, I wear the same skinny jeans I put on this morning, but instead of my normal blue, unbuttoned shirt and black tank, I'm wearing a hospital gown. Royal blue, of course.  
"I- Ummm..." _Damn_. I can't lie to him about this. "There was a situation in initiation."  
"What situation?" He asks in a warning tone.  
"They were testing a serum - something that can completely change a person's actions and leave them in your control - on four of us." I begin.  
"Wait. What? That's completely unethical!" Nixon shouts, making me jump. "Sorry," he says softly "carry on, but it is!"  
I launch into the story of what happened earlier, try to gauge Nixon's reactions. For a Dauntless boy - a faction known for not masking any negative emotion - he's surprisingly difficult to read.  
"So, how did you get out?" Nixon questions, focused completely on me.  
"Caleb managed to get to me just after Jake..." I stop. _Do I want Nixon to know that Jake kissed me? _  
"What did the bastard do to you, Lilith?" He hisses.  
"Well, Ummm... The thing is... He kindaa... Urrr..." Nixon looks me straight in the eye. I sigh, I have to tell him. "Jake kissed me." Now, Nixon's body language is very easy to read. His hands tighten into fists at his side, his jaw clenches; his forehead becomes set into a harsh scowl.  
"He did what?!" His eyes narrow a little more as he growls the words.  
Suddenly, he pushes me against the hard wall, the wood cold against the skin that's exposed by the back of my hospital gown. He kisses me hard. Beneath the violent assault on my lips, my body sags and relaxes. This is where I belong. He deepens the connection, kissing me harder. I respond by increasing the pressure from my own lips. A moan rumbles in his throat, telling me that he's enjoying this. We disconnect and I take a deep breath, before we both work on regulating our panting breaths.  
"Your lips... They... They're mine..." He pants. "I... I can't even think... Of a monster... Like that... Taking advantage of you... Lilith..."  
"Shhhh. It doesn't matter, he was just be-"  
"Yes, it does matter!" He shouts, making me jump and cutting my sentence short. "Lilith, I- I just don't know what I'd do if he took you from me. I mean, he's Erudite. When you're older, you'll need to marry within your faction. He's a good age for you. And, I mean, come on! The guy lives with you!"  
"I hate him, Nix. I can't stand him. He makes me feel lower than I've ever felt before!" I confess. I sigh gently. "But you..." I whisper softly "You make me feel safe, at home. I've known you no time at all and I already feel closer to you than anyone from my old faction. You're amazing!"  
"If he ever tries anything again, I'll... I'll..."  
"Shhhhh." I cut him off. "He's not worth the effort." I smile and Nixon kisses my lips softly, before taking me in his arms and scattering tiny kisses on the top of my head. Soon after, the pain in my ribs begins to return, yanking me back to reality.  
"I better get back." I whisper, regretting the words as I say them. Nixon releases me after kissing my gently on the lips.  
"Stay safe." His words almost make me smirk. _A Dauntless boy speaking of safety?_  
Soon, I am back in the Erudite complex. I decide to go in through the front door of the main building, as there's a restroom near the entrance, which gives me an alibi and also allows me to relieve my close-to-bursting bladder. I see the restroom door ahead of me and reach my hand out to push open the door when I hear it. _A voice._  
"Somebody's been a bad girl." _Jake_.


	12. Chapter 12

"What are you talking about, Jake?" I spit.  
"You can't stand me? That was a little harsh, don't you think?" He whispers, stepping closer. The close proximity of his face makes me want to vomit.  
"Jake, I don't know what yo-"  
"I followed you!" He cuts in. "All the way to your little meet up with the Dauntless boy."  
_Oh no._ This can't be good. Even though I didn't think it was possible, he brings his face even closer to mine.  
"It's okay. I'm sure we can strike a deal!" He whispers.  
"What deal?" I asked, intrigued.  
"I won't tell Kai you've been sneaking out - thus, saving you from being factionless - if you go out with me." A disgusting smiles creeps onto his face.  
"What? How is that gunna benefit you in any way?" I have to stop myself from shouting the words at him.  
"You see, in Erudite, marrying young is encouraged, as it is thought that the pairs' intelligence will rub off on each other. If I am seen to be fitting into the society, I'm more likely to pass initiation." His reasoning doesn't make this any better.  
"Why? Scared you won't get through on your own intelligence?" I ask, mockingly. He laughs.  
"No, darling, but the better I do, the more important the job I'll be awarded. And I deserve to be _very important_." He emphasizes the last two words. "Plus, I get to run my hands over your body whenever I want." His hands grab my hips, before I almost immediately push them away and slap him across the face.  
"You disgust me, pervert." I growl.  
"Fine, I'll let Kai know about your late night adventures. Your Dauntless friend probably won't get off lightly either." He starts down the hallway.  
"Wait!" I call, as hushed as possible. Before adding, almost inaudibly "I'll do it..."  
"Great," he purrs. "Come on, princess. We should get you back to the hospital." He grabs my wrist and tugs me back to the medical room. Once I'm back in bed, he leaves. _What have I agreed to?_


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, immediately after I'm released from hospital, Jake wastes no time in trying to convince the other initiates that I am his loving girlfriend. He spends his time in experiments and between lectures with his arm wrapped around my waist. Though this appears sweet and romantic to the other teens, it's not. It's the opposite, a control mechanism. Each time I step a foot out of line, he puts slight pressure on my lower ribs, sending shooting pulses of pain all through my body. Soon, the lectures are over and we are left to make our way to the dining hall, but Jake forcefully escorts me to our room instead.  
"Finally!" He purrs, shutting the door.  
"What are you doing, Jake? Can't you stop being an ass for one second?" I spit.  
Suddenly, he's on me, pushing me against the wall. He forces his lips against mine and digs his fingers into my waist. I shove him away.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, pervert?!" I shout, staring at him in disbelief.  
"I've waited all day. I've finally got you alone!" He stalks towards me, but I charge past him towards the door.  
"Exactly!" I stop and turn to face him. "Which means I shouldn't have to pretend to be your perfect lover anymore!" He laughs.  
"It doesn't work like that, princess." His disgusting smile crawls across his face once again. "I always get what I want. I have certain... _Ways_."  
"What are you talking about, Jake?"  
"How's your friend? Nixon, is it?" He raises his eyebrows when he says the name.  
"No! Stay away from him! You said if I agreed to pretend to be with you, you'd leave him alone!" I step closer to him, trying to appear as strong as possible. It's not working.  
"Well... Considering I make the rules in this arrangement... Things change." He closes the distance between us even more. "I can make pretty boy's life a living hell if you don't cooperate."  
"No. Please, Jake. Just leave him alone. He hasn't done anything wrong. Please! If you're gunna do one decent thing, please, let it be this!" I feel the sob rising in my throat as I realize_; I can't win this_.  
"All you have to do is kiss me. Properly. Passionately. The way you kiss... _Him_!" He spits the final word like it's cursed. I take a deep breath.  
"Okay. If you promise that's all." He grabs my waist and pulls me against him.  
"Of course, princess!" He kisses my cheek before whispering in my ear "For now..." I ignore the words and close my eyes.  
"Kiss me!" He orders. I comply. My lips meet his gently and I fight the urge to pull away immediately. I force myself to carry on; attempting to convince my brain I'm kissing Nixon. His lips are forceful and awkward, making it even more difficult for mind to drift from reality. I have to do this. I place my hands either side of his face. _For Nixon._ I increase the pressure between our lips and kiss him deeper. _Nixon. Nixon. Nixon. Nixon. I'm kissing Nixon._ The mantra runs through my mind on repeat. And, to my surprise, it begins to work. I picture myself standing in the small wooden shack, Tilly twisting around my ankles. _Nixon_. I imagine the soft flick of his hair tickling my eyelids. Nixon. I lower my hand to touch his chest through his fitted black tshirt - tell-tale sign of his Dauntless affiliation. _Nix_- I stop. The texture I touch is not the soft, skin tight tshirt material I hoped for. It's the thin baggy material and cold plastic buttons of the blue shirt worn by Jake. And like that, I am snapped back to reality. I open my eyes and stumble backwards, disconnecting our bodies.  
"What's wrong, princess?" Jake seems genuinely concerned.  
"Nothing... I'm... I'm just tired." I lie. _Jeez! How was I even born into Candor?!_  
"Lie down, gorgeous. Get some rest. Would you like a drink? A snack?" _Why is he being so-_ Then it hits me. He wants this relationship to be real. He wants to be loved. He's gunna keep abusing me unless I... _Unless I play along_. Unless I make him think that I want him as much as he wants me. I decide to test the theory.  
"No thank you." I reply sweetly. "I just want you to hold me while I fall asleep!" I almost laugh at how ridiculous the words sound.  
"I knew it!" He exclaims. "I knew you'd want me as soon as we kissed!" _Wow_. I was right. He actually wants to be loved that bad.  
"Of course, I don't know what I was ever thinking before! You're so..." I search my mind for a faux compliment. How am I supposed to compliment a guy I despise? "Irresistible!"  
"Oh, baby, you're the irresistible one!" I have to fight the urge to gag at his words. "I have to kiss you again." He grabs my waist, pulling me against him. I wince at the pain from the pressure on my ribs. He crashes his lips to mine. I kiss him back awkwardly. _Come on, Lilith, you're gunna have to try harder to persuade him._ I jump and wrap my legs around his waist - which is far more painful than I expect - and kiss him harder. _Nixon. Nixon. Nixon. _I feel Jake's body move, and open my eyes to see that we are moving towards Caleb's bunk. _Oh god. For Nixon. For Nixon._ I close my eyes again, just as I crash painfully onto the mattress. Our lips disconnect and Jake's body looms above me. Nixon. Nixon. Nixon.  
"Princess, I want you here and now!" Jake moans, barely finishing the sentence before his lips are on mine again. "Oh, Lilith! Your kiss is like that of a goddess."  
Caleb and Craig will be back soon. They'll save me from this. They have to be back soon.  
I feel Jake's mouth on my neck, kissing gently. I take myself back to the shack. _I'm with Nixon. I'm lay on the floor. There's straw and mud in my hair, but I couldn't care less. Nixon caresses each inch of skin on my neck with his soft, sculptured lips. I hear Tilly mew in the background, making me giggle slightly. The kisses travel up to my jaw. I let out a sigh of pleasure. Nixon's fringe tickles my cheek._  
"Say my name!" A low, panting voice demands.  
"Nixon!" I moan softly. The kissing stops and the body moves from above me.  
"What?" I open my eyes to see a confused Jake. _Shit_.


End file.
